Thursday, 1 October 2015

Autumn Reflections

     It's been awhile since I posted - the past year has been one of many challenges in our family, including the ongoing illness of my mother. She turned 85 last month and is adamantly refusing to go easily into the good night, in spite of many setbacks. It has been tumultuous and stressful but we are finding a new normal in our day to day lives, praying for the best.
    One discussion I've had with her was about dreams and wishes not fulfilled - her bucket list per se. She said all she wanted was to be comfortable.
    It made me think about comfort and dreams and wishes and what that meant to me. If I had been asked the same question, I would have had a very different answer.
    What haven't I done that haunts my thoughts and gives me pause?
  • go to Scotland to see where my grandmother was born
  • go to Paris to see the City of Light
  • see the Northern Lights way up north
  • see a baby being born - from the other end of the bed. :-)
  • play with my grandchildren once I have some
  • have a dog to walk with 
  • write a full length book for children
  • write a Harlequin Romance - corny, yes, but since 1970 when I read "If This is Love" by Anne Weale, I was hooked!
  • grow old more gracefully than I am 
    What is stopping me from attaining these dreams? My life is rich with love - my husband, my children, their significant others, granddog Scoutie Bear, family and friends - but there is something that is lacking and that something is ME. 
    What I lack is focus on the here and now. I - like many others, I'm sure - get caught up in the busyness of each day, and don't pay enough attention to the wonderful things I have right here, right now. I also haven't been allowing enough time in my everyday world to WORK towards these dreams (like writing more, being present more and being supremely grateful for all I already have). 
     Nature focuses beautifully on the here and now - and blooms and thrives the best that she can, no matter what. With all the fall colours outside, flowers blooming furiously and beautifully one last time, leaves falling gently to the ground, and the earth getting the most it can out of each day, it shows me what to do. 
    Focus, bloom. shine, prosper, and in the end, gently float to the ground. See the best in everyday, in everyone and be the best in myself that I can.
    What does that mean? It means I've got a date with my computer to finish some writing and work on some unrealized dreams before my own seasons draw to an end.