This blog notwithstanding, I am a relatively private person. Things good and bad are filtered before being shared, if shared at all. The odd person here or there but in general, I manage my stuff myself, with a stiff upper lip and an action plan. Oh, and sometimes unlimited amounts of Miss Vicki's original chips, chocolate, lattes and McDonald's cheeseburgers.
Recently things happened though that affected me deeply and were bigger than I can handle. My reserve well ran dry. Rock bottom. Empty. Zip, nada, nothing.
Breaking my own oversharing rule, I told two friends. They listened, they hugged me, they laughed, they cried, they bought the t-shirt. Amazingly, I felt not only mentally but physically lighter. A shared burden is far less heavy. So I shared with a few more friends.
My heart softened and evolved into a beautiful origami of light. My circle of family, friends and colleagues gently coaxed it open. Love rushed in as tension, frustration and sadness poured out. I mean there were serious puddles of oozing greyness everywhere.
Inside, I was luminous, light and at peace.
"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."(Leonard Cohen, Anthem, The Future, 1992)
I guess my everything finally cracked. Oddly, I don't feel broken or shattered. I feel whole and surrounded by light, inside and out, filtered through beautiful stained glass panes created by my loving circle.
Thank you for being my light, for the support, understanding, friendship, patience and acceptance.
My heart overflows.